Texts From Last Night

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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This girl is more easily done than said...

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  (+27): This girl is more easily done than said... http://tfl.nu/38ha
  Replies (5) Good night (3339) Bad night (757)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops

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  (803): I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me. (803): I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops http://tfl.nu/kudg
  Replies (6) Good night (4057) Bad night (693)
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  (310): View more from California

  Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.

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  (310): Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces. http://tfl.nu/d897
  Replies (12) Good night (4592) Bad night (730)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document

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  (570): I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document http://tfl.nu/k2y9
  Replies (49) Good night (1257) Bad night (6107)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.

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  (610): Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon. http://tfl.nu/dlc4
  Replies (21) Good night (2836) Bad night (2355)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.

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  (636): you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me. http://tfl.nu/k5hc
  Replies (4) Good night (6543) Bad night (874)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.

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  (404): I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE. http://tfl.nu/pyvt
  Replies (38) Good night (7712) Bad night (990)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (2404)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.

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  (218): all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/l2e8
  Replies (14) Good night (4848) Bad night (963)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

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  (314): The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons. http://tfl.nu/mw2s
  Replies (10) Good night (2273) Bad night (920)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?

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  (717): How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling? http://tfl.nu/pzfw
  Replies (7) Good night (1632) Bad night (419)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.

  (315): View more from New York

  How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??

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  (561): She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation. (315): How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives?? http://tfl.nu/1ctg
  Replies (3) Good night (1880) Bad night (743)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!

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  (563): So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes! http://tfl.nu/5w2r
  Replies (5) Good night (1695) Bad night (449)
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  (310): View more from California

  i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works

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  (310): i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works http://tfl.nu/taju
  Replies (4) Good night (998) Bad night (281)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower

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  (603): the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower http://tfl.nu/z3nh
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (220)

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