Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.