dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize