the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
