Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

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  (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. http://tfl.nu/n3dd
  Replies (27) Good night (672) Bad night (2663)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.

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  (910): no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender. http://tfl.nu/cz6b
  Replies (16) Good night (576) Bad night (1851)
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  (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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  (650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b
  Replies (10) Good night (930) Bad night (1963)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

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  (225): Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min http://tfl.nu/fx8x
  Replies (21) Good night (4316) Bad night (523)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1
  Replies (45) Good night (473) Bad night (6916)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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  (646): Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself? http://tfl.nu/aacm
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (4672)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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  (208): Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain? http://tfl.nu/hz7f
  Replies (17) Good night (821) Bad night (3587)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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  (859): Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic http://tfl.nu/ciqa
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (2004)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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  (781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd
  Replies (3) Good night (2589) Bad night (1291)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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  (207): you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/am8n
  Replies (11) Good night (5396) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.

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  (781): I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body. http://tfl.nu/exdj
  Replies (5) Good night (2036) Bad night (943)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.

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  (979): Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction. http://tfl.nu/hu5n
  Replies (11) Good night (4027) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Still. Make it happen

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  (215): Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both" (1-215): Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen. (1-215): Still. Make it happen http://tfl.nu/b78c
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (265)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics

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  (847): I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics http://tfl.nu/jc4w
  Replies (5) Good night (548) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.

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  (314): I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work. http://tfl.nu/eou1
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (181)

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