Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.