question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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