Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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