He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
