I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
