I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
