I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
