He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
