So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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