put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
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Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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