her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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