No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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