Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
