Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
