yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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