i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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