I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
