Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're so nebulous sometimes
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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