Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
