I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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