So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
