i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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