i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
