If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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