dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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