what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize