Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
