I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
