nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
two words...techno handjob
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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