question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize