I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
