she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
