alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
