And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
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Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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