look no pants
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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