oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
