I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
