I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
jump out the window naked night went bad
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize