Kiss
Puke
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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