I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
