Don't make out with my wife yet
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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