Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
