Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
