i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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