My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
