yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
