just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
