i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
