If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
