Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
