I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
