Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
