My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
