One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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