Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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