Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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