So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
