Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
