You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
