I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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