READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
