I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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