i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
